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Some women will let you know exactly what they want during sex. Some women have a harder time. Hey, it's not easy for all women to. But there's another side to women's sexual experiences that is acute pain during sex fears rejection from men because of her condition. man and woman having sex. Intimate young couple enjoying on bed. man and woman having sex. Intimate young couple enjoying on bed.






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What about women who experience pain during sex? But it is a topic that needs to be explored. Data on the subject of dyspareunia — pain during sex — is hard to gather. But it is thought to affect around 7. Experts believe this condition is under-reported, and that the true figure could be even higher.

Dyspareunia is complicated by the fact that the condition is usually both physical and psychological — and so the problem will often not be one that can be seen on a scan.

This feeling of isolation is common among women who encounter pain during sex. There are a whole range of female sexual dysfunctions, with one of the most well-known being vaginismus , where the vaginal muscles contract involuntarily. There are many reasons why women develop the condition, from the psychological, such as a fear of sex, to other gynaecological conditions, such as endometriosis.

The biggest challenges are the fear of disclosure and confidence to seek help, for some women, as well as access to funded psychosexual services. Pain can also have a huge impact on relationships. Some women would prefer to not be in a relationship, or to end a relationship with their partner, rather than discuss their issues.

I spoke to women in their twenties who experience pain during sex, at an age when they feel expected to enjoy it. D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan. So long as it's something you're comfortable with, of course. The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie Schaefer , PsyD.

They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. Another key move: Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, which heightens pleasure during oral sex. Kort says. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer notes that men wish women would reveal their own sexual imaginings.

The solution: Make a game of it. First and most important , promise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box.

Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr. Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears, as Mintz says heavy breathing, groaning, and moaning are all sounds that we make when we're feeling free, and studies have shown that it's erotic for all parties involved to hear. It's also a great way to really express what you want, which is a huge turn-on for men when they know they're doing exactly what you need to have an orgasm.

If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched and where, and using what and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.

Sex can help ease many stressors in a relationship, but it can also cause stress. If he complains about a lack of sex or the fact that you're only doing certain things on his birthday , then be honest about what's causing you to withhold. One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than wait to be [turned on] to have sex.

If that's the case, Mintz says you shouldn't be using sex as a weapon — that's only going to cause more harm in the relationship — and should instead be honest about how you're feeling. If you're not comfortable bringing it up on your own or discussing it when your partner does , she suggests seeing a therapist, who can help the two of you navigate the issue in a healthy way.

Men like a good quest, so even if you've been together for awhile, allow your partner to court you. How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include or betray the other. Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, but it shouldn't be overreacted to or pathologized, Dr. Plus, because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on, Dr.

Still, it's tough not to take it personally when he's getting off by looking at another woman. To help tamper that, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography and discussing it. That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity, and closeness without him feeling like he's doing something shameful, while you can figure out what you're OK with accepting and what you're not. Guys are often accused of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this line of thought.

Schaefer says. We all move through life at the speed of sound, with multiple challenges and pressures. That makes it easy to allow demands on our time and energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure, and opportunity that sex affords us. And more often than not, sex ends up being at the bottom of a long list of priorities. But viewing sex through a different lens — something you want to do versus have to do — can make all the difference. Plus, there are health benefits to sex.