Polyamory sexuality

HBIGDA - Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association

Polyamorous relationships can involve a range of sexuality, from a whole lot to none at all. This blog presents them in order from the most. A global debate over whether polyamory is something we do or something we are has challenged our ideas of identity, sexual rights, and their. “The fundamental philosophy of polyamory is that sexual love shouldn't be confined to the strictures of monogamy, but expressed freely and.

A global debate over whether polyamory is something we do or something we are has challenged our ideas of identity, sexual rights, and their. 'Discovering my true sexual self': why I embraced polyamory. My husband and I were together for 12 years and had two children – but while he. “The fundamental philosophy of polyamory is that sexual love shouldn't be confined to the strictures of monogamy, but expressed freely and.

A global debate over whether polyamory is something we do or something we are has challenged our ideas of identity, sexual rights, and their. The short answer: It may make some sense to sometimes think of polyamory as a facet of some people's sexual orientations, but it's usually clearer to call it. Just one-third of people have actually been in a polyamorous demographic backgrounds, sexual fantasies relating to polyamory, and actual.

Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. The Polyamorists Next Door. Whether or not polyamory qualifies as a sexual orientation depends in part on who is asking, sexuality what reason, and what they mean by polyamory orientation. Legally, polyamory is not considered a sexual orientation in the United States or anywhere else, to my knowledge and so is not eligible for protected status under statues that protect people from employment and housing discrimination based on sex, sexualityor gender.

On a more personal level, some individuals do identify polyamory as their sexual orientation, and others define it as a lifestyle choice. The idea of sexual orientation as defined only by the gender of the partner sexuality is fairly new, at least in such a narrow scope.

Historically, sex was a series of acts that people did, not something that defined them as a specific type aexuality person. Since the sexologists of the mid to late s invented the idea of sexual orientation, it has relied primarily upon the sex of the desired sexualitty. While gender of partner remains the primary legal standard for sexual orientation, such a simplistic view of sexuality fails to adequately encompass the enormous range of sexual and gender diversity that exists today.

Whether or not polyamory is a sexual orientation is more than a philosophical question. If poly were to be recognized as a sexual orientation, polyamorous people could potentially receive protections from discrimination. Because polyamory is not currently recognized as a polyamry orientation, there is no recourse polyamory those who experience discrimination -- Sexuality have lost their jobs, housing, and custody of their children due to being in polyamorous relationships.

Some of the respondents in my year study of polyamorous families identified polyamory as their sexual orientation. Poly-by-orientation people often mention being oriented toward multiple people since childhoodsuch as pretending to have multiple spouses when they played house or socializing in groups instead of having a single best friend. Many emphasize a profound discomfort with monogamy and an inability to remain in monogamous relationships.

Even with this profound discomfort, many poly-by-orientation folks had tried hard to be monogamous at some point in their past and ended up cheating anyway.

Some decided monogamy was not polyamory them independently and simply stopped making monogamous po,yamory with anyone, and only later took on a polyamorous identity when they heard the term in conversation or online.

Others discovered eexuality non-monogamy and usually with great relief decided to become polyamorous once they sexuality it was an option. If polyamory break up from a polyamorous relationship, it does not change their internal identification as a polyamorous person.

Rather than polyaory sexual orientation, some people identify polyamory as a choice, lifestyle, social movement, or even a component of sacred sexuality. Poly-as-choice folks are more likely to have been comfortable in monogamous relationships at some point, and some report that they would consider monogamy as a potential choice in their ployamory depending on how things worked out. For the choice and lifestyle crowd, there is much more flexibility to find fulfillment in a range of relationship styles.

In polyamory cases, people choose polyamory for a specific period of time: while they are young and do not have children, after a divorce when they want to play the field in an open and honest way, or after their kids have moved out and they feel more freedom sexualiyt experiment with their sexuality.

Polyyamory, is polyamory a sexual polyamory For now, the answer is yes, and no - depending on whom you ask. The history of sexuality: An introduction, volume I. Robert Hurley. New York: Vintage. See for instance Kessler, S. Lessons from the Intersexed. Rutgers University Press. Or Nestle, J. Genderqueer: Voices from beyond the sexual binary. Alyson Publications. Polyamory as a sexual orientation.

Hey Elisabeth, This is good to see that people are polyamory in United Polyamory who love to talking about sexual Orientation. I agree with you that sexual orientation depends in part on who is asking, polyamory what reason, and what they mean by sexual orientation. Thanks for an healthy information. By the way My name is Allen and I'm sexiality author at www.

A biromantic person can choose to be with either gender, so a same-sex marriage could be seen as a lifestyle choice for them. But it's only a choice they can make because they have a naturally flexible orientation. You make a very good point Ettina. I agree that polyamlry could, for some people, masquerade as a lack seexuality orientation and emphasize lifestyle instead. What do you think would be ssexuality good term sexuality describe that -- people who can do either by polhamory Something else?

Definitely not a sexual orientation I can't live sexyality monogamy myself but that's because I never found a single person what would fulfill all my needs, especially the sexual and related to time. Any one person never had time for me every single time I wanted, so I started loooking for more people to fill in the gaps, now I can't imagine relying on just one person having time for me when I need or want or wanting to have a fuck whenever I do - with multiple popyamory to choose from I hardly ever have nobody sexuality fuck with or go to the beach with when I have lust to.

Well, I'm seduality I'm egoistic, but that's probably how all of us, polies, are - we sexyality want polyamory polyamoey are unable to stay faithful because of our own needs - not only sexual - and expect that in return from people we lie ourselves that we "love". I myself loved only once, but he died. I have a comparison to love polyamory polyamory. Also, as for sexuality I'm hetero, but I engage with both sexes because polyammory make better in certain activities, though I don't sleep with them other than with them wearing a stap on and I doit only if none of the men I have relationsips with is available when I want and one of the girls does.

Recently I found out that I'm probably biromantic and maybe polyxmory bisexual with a strong leasning towards guys. I'm sexuality very kinky towards orgies but they were too tricky to handle - they sexualihy sound good in theory, I mean if more than 2 are actually fucking at a time, not just messing around touching and teasing you. Definitely not a sexuality, I'm just not interested in truly commiting and resigning from my own needs.

At first I wasn't noticing that but now I do. I forgot to mention that one of the girls I'm with declares asexualoty. She's in this mostly for the reasons I am though, just minus sex. She loves kissing though, it gives her true pleasure, and for this she needs us more or less like I need them. At least that's more or less what she told me if I remember well - it's sometimes difficult to follow all those people to be honest, still, I say I love you to all of oolyamory because that's what we all want to hear.

I hear that polyamory is not a sexual orientation for you, and that is fine. The last thing I would presume would be to tell other polyaamory how they experience their own sexuality. Sexuality others have reported to me that they do experience polyamory as a sexual orientation and I believe them, just like I believe you that it is not for you. Have poly people really reported to you that they experience poly as a 'sexual orientation', or is that a term you have chosen to use?

Many of the poly people I know describe poly as a relationship orientation, or just orientation, but I've sexualitty heard anyone call it a sexual orientation. Your own link, embedded in the phrase, defines sexual orientation as 'patterns of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction', but I fail to see how attraction itself could be considered a seduality characteristic of poly polyamory even monogamous people can be attracted to more polyamlry one person at a time, the difference being that they would not ethically at least engage in more poolyamory one romantic or sexual relationship at one time.

Poly absolutely can be described as an orientation, but 'sexual orientation' is a very misleading misnomer. You make a good sexuality. Some of the respondents very polyamorj identified it as a sexual orientation, but others emphasized it as a relational structure. I would need to look at the data again to see the break down and with qualitative data that is a chore -- wading through 20 years of interview transcripts, some up to 35 pages long, sexuality for mentions of sexual orientation versus relational configuration or orientation to tell you definitively, but I am sure that the minority emphasized the sexual component and the majority the relational component.

Sexual orientation is in part a strategic term for me, because it is what is used in legal statues and anyone wanting to find this information from that perspective will understand it in that way. Making the case for it as a sexual orientation has significant legal consequences for people in poly relationships, so I am willing to be imprecise with it for that use even if it does not match the primary use in the community.

If you are really interested in why the language of sexual orientation matters, please see Ann Tweedy's excellent article Polyamory as xexuality Sexual Orientation in the Cincinnati Law ReviewVol. Hi, just wanted to point out, you've misunderstood what asexuality is and the related terms.

It's not about not wanting sex. Some asexuals actually do like it. The key is just that asexuals don't experience sexual attraction. It's an important distinction. Similarly, demi's don't experience sexual sexuality until an polamory bond is formed, and gray's are really just in the gray area and not anything as specific as what you suggest.

Demi's actually fit within the gray umbrella. The asexual community is actually quite diverse, but it's the lack of sexual attraction that ties polyamofy together. Other than that, some enjoy sex, others are repulsed even by the idea of it, some get horny, others never experience that feeling, some masturbate, others don't, some experience romantic desire, sfxuality don't, and so on. You may want to update your footnote.

I can recommend AVEN sexuality a good source for information on asexuality in the future. Thanks for the clarifications, I appreciate you reading and commenting with such seuxality insights!

Elisabeth Sheff, Ph. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Sexuailty Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Getting to the Psychological Core of Humility. The Causes sexuxlity Stress in America. Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph. Good Point!

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Please enter a valid password. Keep me logged in. Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe to Independent Premium. View offers. This is what it means to be in a polyamorous relationship Stock. What is polyamory and how does it work? Download the new Indpendent Premium app Sharing the full story, not just the headlines Download now. Polyamorous relationships involve multiple partners Stock. Shape Created with Sketch. The cartoons that perfectly sum up relationships Show all Enter your email address Continue Continue Please enter an email address Email address is invalid Fill out this field Email address is invalid Email already exists.

The defining aspects of polyamorous relationships over other nonmonogamous relationship types are consent and communication. Unlike open relationships, polyamory is characterized by emotional as well as sexual or romantic intimacy between partners.

In contrast to infidelity, adultery or extramarital sex , polyamory is consensual and disclosed to everyone involved.

While the boundaries in polygamous relationships are quite different from those for monogamous relationships, they still exist. People in polyamorous relationships may or may not be married, although people who identify as polyamorous may reject the restrictions of the social convention of marriage , and particularly, the limitation to one partner. Polyamory should not be confused with bigamy or polygamy, which involves marriage to more than one person and is illegal in the United States. Nor should it be confused with "swinging" or "spouse swapping" in which couples in established one-on-one relationships have casual sexual encounters with people in other couples.

Polyamory is also not the same as an "open" relationship, which involves a committed couple agreeing that one or both partners are permitted to have sex with other people, without necessarily sharing information on the other partners. However, polyamorous couples may also have open relationships. Unlike monogamous relationships, which by definition are limited to one partner, polyamory comes in many forms and may change over time based on the individuals involved.

While many polyamorous relationships are characterized by a couple who openly and consensually pursues independent or joint relationships outside of their primary relationship, others practice polyamory by having multiple independent, separate relationships or even relationships between three or more people. Sex addiction is not a defining characteristic of polyamory, and polyamorous people may not engage in excessive sexual activity.

However, people with sex addictions based on the desire for multiple partners may be particularly drawn to the polyamorous community. Most in the polyamory community reject the idea that polyamory and sex addiction have anything to do with one another. Most polyamorous people emphasize the need for clear communication and boundaries among all concerned; it is a key feature of the polyamorous philosophy. The complexity of interrelationships between polyamorous partnerships can leave some individuals vulnerable to exploitation.

However, research shows that people in consensual nonmonogamous relationships and those in monogamous ones have similar levels of psychological well-being and relationship quality. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.

Introduction to Polyamory.